Shouldn't Feel Like Home
by LeoOsaka Bakura's stalker
Summary: Sasuke has joined the dark side. Too bad he doesn't get cookies. Instead he gets to spend lots and lots of time with Orochimaru's pet. KabutoSasuke FRIENDSHIP. Primarily humorous moments shared during the timeskip.
1. I am

_A/N: While I may not have the supreme knowledge many fans have, I do intend to write well enough to make up for it. Many apologies ahead of time. This will take place within the time skip. _

_Pairings: None. May find some friendships and Orochimaru being a creepy weirdo, but that's normal._

_Also, I kinda promised someone I wouldn't write Naruto fanfiction...but I failed...I suck...Yeah, I know. Anyway, this is written from Sasuke's point of view, which is utterly hilarious considering I hate the little emo beotch. Oh well. I think he has potential._

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**Shouldn't Feel Like Home**  
_Part One – I Am_

I've decided to join my enemy. Why? That's an easy answer to an easy question. I need more power. I need to be stronger. Something I could never achieve in Konoha. He promised me ultimate power for the price of my body. I didn't care. I just want Itachi dead. So I agreed. So now I am in Sound. Surrounded by those I should consider my enemy. Yet, some how this place feels more like home than home did.

The first hours of arrival made me very weary. Orochimaru's village is not exceptionally large but the people in it are nerve trying. In the first hours I was here, I actually saw very little of the snake man himself. My ever so willing tour guide was the second in command. A face I hadn't expected to see for a long time. Kabuto. That fake smile made be want to smack it right off his face. Arrogant prick. But I said nothing. At that point in time he could easily stomp me flat only to later turn me upside down and mop the floor with me. I never really seemed to convince myself to like him before, this reunion didn't really bode well either.

Son of a bitch tried to kill me after all.

"This is where you'll be staying. Until we move bases again, at any rate." The pale haired medic said with nonchalance. His habitual way of speaking always managed to piss me off. "Do try to keep your anger fits down. The resident who lives next to you will get very upset with you. I can't promise that he won't barge in and leave you with a few painful reminders of why you need to behave yourself."

I snorted, "Right. And who exactly is it that I have to be afraid of? Surely Orochimaru doesn't reside in the room next to me. I can't think of anyone else who I should give two shits about."

The medic smiled. It was an empty one. "Test it tonight and we'll reevaluate what you think in the morning."

"Why?" I folded my arms. "Who is next to me?"

Kabuto only turned and began walking down the hall. Bastard. I hadn't thought he was going to answer my question; but loe and behold, he stopped momentarily. He turned his head, but his back was still to me. "I am." His sinister grin sent a small shiver up my spine that I was not willing to acknowledge at the time. That man creeped me the fuck out. And I just didn't know why.

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_A/N: Sorry so short. They'll all kind of be like this. _


	2. Depressing Like No Other

**Shouldn't Feel Like Home**  
_Part Two – Depressing Like No Other_

I was told to stay within certain boundaries. But I failed to really listen to what I was being told. I didn't care. Orochimaru needed my body after all. Not like he would kill me. Though, I found myself stepping lightly around his personal medic. I learned the hard way that he wasn't the weak little imbecile that had stumbled upon us during the Chuunin exam. He never said anything about it, but I had a feeling he was much more powerful than he let on. Or rather I felt that he was when I was acquainted with his fist after I back talked him one too many times. Orochimaru didn't seem in the least bit concerned about it either. Disturbed me a little to think that Kabuto had that much power.

He certainly wasn't beyond killing those who failed to do as he ordered. I'd seen him do it twice in the first week. He had an incredible mask that hid away his thoughts, but he also had a short fuse. I consider him bipolar. Or just really, really neurotic. Though I think neurotic is more like Orochimaru.

I stepped foot inside his little area cut out of the nothingness hellhole of the base. Why he liked the darkest most unpleasant part of the lair, I have no idea; but he was there, nonetheless. He looked back at me from his place at a counter, concocting something that reeked of either dead people or hell itself. Since I also consider him evil in a refined form, I'll choose hell itself as an option.

"You're cooking skills suck if this is your idea of soup." I commented dryly.

"Ah, Sasuke-kun, you're just in time." He retorted stepping back, "I need someone to tell me if it needs more seasoning."

"Like hell I would. I may mutate extra fingers."

"Imagine what it would do for jutsus."

"You think you're funny, don't you?" I rolled my eyes sitting up on the counter, despite the fact that I was probably not supposed to.

"As a matter of fact, I believe I am." His reply was brief because he trotted over to a small refrigeration unit and proceeded to root through it as if searching for something.

In a bored tone I asked: "What are you looking for?"

"Just a blood sample, Sasuke-kun."

"Why?"

"Full of questions today, are you?" The pale haired man stood straight with three vials in hand. I had thought that blood was supposed to be fresh, but what do I know. He's the scientist nerd, not me. "Unless you're going to help, I'm not answering questions." He looked up at me over the rim of his glasses.

I hopped off the counter and folded my arms in an irritated manner, "fine…what do you want?"

"I'll let you know when I get there." He chuckled and I scowled. Bastard. "But to answer your question, I'm just working on a cell transmutation inducing chemical. So I wouldn't suggest taste testing this unless you want your tongue to grow a second tongue."

"That is highly creepy."

"I can only imagine what you would say if you'd come down during my test run of Chakra Sustainers."

I blinked. That wasn't a familiar word to me, "What's that?"

"Something Orochimaru-sama wants me to develop. It's supposed to be a healer that replenishes Chakra without harmful reactions afterwards."

"Can something like that be done?"

"Considering the test subject's reaction…no. And I doubt it ever will."

"Did it kill the test subject?" I don't know why I asked. Boredom tends to make me pester the medic as much as possible, but it's not as fun when he's being civil.

"No, I'm still very much alive."

I blinked again slowly before my alarmed reaction followed; "You?!"

"Orochimaru-sama said I'm not allowed to use myself as a test subject again. He said the effects were too dramatic and quite possibly could have harmed me permanently. I don't think they would have."

"What was the reaction?"

"I don't remember personally, but Orochimaru-sama it acted like a hyper depressant. He said it was too forceful to be used. He wants to ban it. But I think I can still work on it."

"A depressant? Why would you still want to work on that? I thought the point was not to depress the subjects…"

"Oh, but I even named it already, and gave it it's own slogan!"

"What's that?"

"Sasuke in a bottle! Depressing like no other." He smiled and I resisted the urge to lean forward to deck him in the head repeatedly.

**To be Continued...**


	3. Challenge

**Shouldn't Feel Like Home **  
_Part 3 – Challenge_

I've discovered that Kabuto keeps a journal. I'm not sure why it sparks my curiosity. I really don't care. Not much for his opinions, let alone his personal thoughts and, or most likely, his scientific experiments. Against my own lack of need to know, I asked him about it.

"Why do you keep a journal?"

He looked back at me with that smile plastered on his face. I saw the amused expression in the one eye that wasn't blocked from my view by the glare of the light against the lenses of his glasses. "Aren't you supposed to be training with Orochimaru-sama?"

"You're avoiding my question."

"Well, if you're going to be impatient. Then, I keep it because I want to."

"Aren't you afraid that someone will read it?" I asked.

He only smirked and looked back down at his work. I frowned and walked closer to the desk he was working over. I dropped my hand down in front of the sheet of rice paper that had scribbled formulas all over. I frowned a little more at the nonchalant way he chuckled straight at me.

"Why are you laughing at me?!"

"Sasuke-kun, you ask so many questions." He pushed the nose of his glasses against his face. He doesn't realize he look so sinister when he does that. Or maybe he does and enjoys playing stupid. "For one, I wasn't laughing at you; and two, no one but Orochimaru-sama can read my notes."

"How come only he can read your notes?"

"Because, he's very smart and figured out my code."

I glanced down at his writings and looked back up slowly. I wondered how on earth it didn't bother him with how much I kept looking back and forth. "You code your notes?"

"Every good researcher does, Sasuke-kun, so naturally I do it for my journal too. Here," He slid off the tall chair he'd been nesting in for the previous hours—working on his science garbage—and he slid open a drawer in the table just left of him. He pulled a leather bound book from the space and closed the drawer with a push. "Take a look." He handed the book to me.

"You're telling me to look in your journal?"

"Yes."

"Okay…" I opened the book and looked at the first page. Sure enough it was filled top to bottom in smooth refined looking…chicken scratch? "What is this?" I blinked.

"I've coded it. It looks like a jumbled mess of words, but a smart man can figure it out if you watch me long enough. Orochimaru-sama figured me out the first day I used it."

I flipped the pages and nodded absently, "Yeah, but Orochimaru is a freak and for what it's worth, you are too."

"It's why you fit in so well, Sasuke-kun."

I rolled my eyes, "I don't get it…it's not written backwards or mirrored…or anything else I can think of…so what's the deal?"

"I can't tell you. That would take away the fun. Consider it a challenge."

I huffed and closed the book. "Fine, I'll figure it out. If that snake bastard can figure it out, I can too!"

"That 'snake bastard' is right behind you." Kabuto smirked and I realized that there was, indeed, another presence in the room and right behind me at that.

"Well…if we are to speak truth, then aren't we all bastards?" The Sannin chuckled darkly.

"Well put, Orochimaru-sama. Sasuke-chan was just going to find you. He thinks he needs more training."

"Is that so?" The snake eyes landed on me. Damn you, Kabuto. You know he's mean during training.

I resisted opening my mouth to lash at him. He was obstructing my path of figuring his sorry ass out. After I could crack the code, I had every intention of reading his journal and I think he knew that. I turned to him before Orochimaru decided to drag me out of the room, surely to take me outside kick the shit out of me once again. "Don't think I'm going to forget." I glare holding the book.

"Oh, take your time Sasuke-chan." He snickered. "I'll be right here. Laughing my happy ass off."

I did a double take. What did he mean by that?

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_A/N: This one will continue into the next one. I liked the idea, so I wanted to drag it out a little more. I technically could have made it a long chapter…but that would ruin my drabble effect. I don't want to have some chapters dramatically longer than others. _


	4. Notes

**Shouldn't Feel Like Home**  
_Part 4 – Notes_

I spent the next two days trying to figure out his notes. He was meticulously careful in picking his code it seemed. It wasn't clicking as easily as it should have. Or maybe I hadn't been trying hard enough…which was bull. I had been trying hard enough. I did two things in those two days. Trained and decoded. I think I slept for an hour once. Orochimaru noticed it immediately.

"You're dragging ass, Sasuke."

I blinked at his use of words, "What?"

"You're falling behind, boy. Does that Medic of mine have you distracted? I knew he was good at mind games, but I figured you were smart enough to pick him apart."

I scowled at the snake-like man, "I don't see you offering a solution."

"Be thankful I'm in a fairly good mood, Sasuke. Other wise, I'd have punished you for your insubordination."

"Well it's your medic that's distracting me! You said it yourself."

"Go." The Sannin spoke before he turned to leave.

"What?"

"I'm not wasting my time with you today. But I won't accept that excuse tomorrow."

I frowned, but there was nothing to be said because the snake-like man was already gone. That left me with no other task but than to carefully watch each and everything Kabuto did. If nothing else, I could annoy the man into telling me what game he's playing. As if I couldn't tell there was some hidden motive from the sinister man. There was always a motive. I grumbled at that very fact while I trudged back into the same room that had begun this annoying little escapade. Sure enough, there stood the object of my irritation.

"You don't leave this room do you? Ever."

"Sure I do." Kabuto said, smiling over at me, as if there was nothing wrong.

I dropped the journal on the table, "I don't get it."

He looked at me questioningly; "Don't tell me you haven't figured it out Sasuke? I'm surprised and slightly saddened by that."

"Oh shut your face." I glared at him, "I don't get it. I've tried codes, I've tried reversing it, I've tried mirror view and vertical, vertical backwards, right to left cursive and everything! I don't get it!"

"Seriously? Wow, perhaps I gave you too much credit." Kabuto snorted and set down the instruments he had been using. He picked up a pen and grabbed for a blank sheet of paper. He started scribbling words on the paper and I watched him. It was strange, he started at the bottom corner or the page.

Then he moved to the top of the page and I realized what he did.

"Well it didn't look that damn simple on a finished page." I folded my arms.

"That's why I hinted for you to watch me, Sasuke-chan." The medic laughed at me. That bastard. "So read the first page, Sasuke."

He handed the journal back to me and I begrudgingly flipped it open to the first page. I read the bottom corner first, then to the corner above and continued in a circular pattern until I understood the first sentence. "Okay… It reads, 'I hope you've had fun decoding this, Sasuke-kun. You're such a cute little dork.'" I glared hatefully at the page and ripped it out of the book, not even bothering to look at the rest of what he wrote. He planted that there on purpose. "I hate you."

"As brothers in arms should, Sasuke-chan!" Kabuto smiled holding up a scalpel. "Now skitter along, I've got a dead body waiting for my attention."

"I will get you for this."

"Oooh, a challenge? Do you think you really can make me regret such trickery I've pulled on you?"

"Don't patronize me."

"I'm surely not. Now go Sasuke, I don't want you to see me laugh myself to sleep."

"I **hate** you." I pouted in a grumbled and stomped out of the room. 'Brother' in arms my ass. I'll get him for that.

**To be Continued…**


	5. The Jounin

**Shouldn't Feel Like Home  
**_Part 5 – The Jounin_

My plans for my mini-vengeance were cut short, as well as my training. I idled down the corridor away from my room when I first realized something was terribly wrong. Usually, everyone was bustling around and rarely did people seem to stop or stand about, but this day was different. Four ninja crowded around the door just next to mine. Kabuto's room.

"What's going on?" I questioned.

"Orochimaru-sama's pet poisoned himself." One replied without looking toward me at all. "Orochimaru-sama is in there now trying to siphon it out of his system."

'_Poisoned himself? But Why?'_ I thought to myself. I hadn't seen anything terribly wrong with him the day before. He was just as cheerfully obnoxious as usual, maybe just a little weirder than usual; but still finding ways to belittle me, and succeeding.

"I don't know why Orochimaru-sama cares so much. The village doesn't need the medic to run efficiently."

Something about that bothered me, "You don't like him much do you?"

"Kabuto? No. I don't."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because he causes as much chaos as he does tranquility around here."

"Yeah, but he saved Orochimaru-sama's life," Another added. "He's our master's favorite. You have no choice but to like him."

"In front of Orochimaru-sama, maybe. But when he's not around, I don't have to like him."

"I like him." The third shrugged.

"Of course you do," The last quipped.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Stop, all of you." I interrupted and they hushed. "If you have to like him around Orochimaru-sama, then you act the same way around me, because I have to like him just like you do." I shook my head in dismay. There was a split alliance as to who considered the man to be a threat or not. I had a feeling that if given the opportunity, I lot of people would want to kill that medic. I could relate.

I moved passed them, despite their efforts to coax me otherwise. Apparently it was life risking to interfere with Orochimaru on anything he was doing, but per usual…. I ignored any warnings.

The first thing I noticed was the angry aura coming from Orochimaru. I'd seen it like that once. I couldn't imagine what had happened that would make him so furious.

"What do you need, Sasuke?" He growled at me but continued to pour Chakra into his seizure-induced subordinate.

"What's wrong with him?"

"If I'm not mistaken you asked the four outside." He offered nothing else and I opted to ignore the statement.

"I was with him a bit this week…He was doing more experiment work."

This caught the Sannin's attention, "Did he say or do anything unusual?"

"Not initially…but he did mention that you told him not to experiment on himself…. But by the way he acted yesterday. I don't think he listened."

The Sannin sighed, "That wouldn't be the first time. Damned fool! If he lives, I may just kill him myself!" He vented, but did not stop in his actions to halt the underling's impending doom.

"Are you aware that your ninja are split in their opinions about him?"

"It's hard not to see. Of course, they don't like you either." The pale man chuckled darkly. I could see the medic's body calming and he became more still and less shaky.

I frowned a little. I wasn't expecting the snake to respond with that. "And why is that?"

"Simple, pet. You and Kabuto get lavish attention from me."

"…jealousy? Simple jealousy?"

"Very much so. Not much they can do when they're out matched."

"Outmatched? Am I stronger than they are then?"

"Yes."

"Is Kabuto?"

"At this point, Sasuke, he's stronger than you are by tenfold. You couldn't hope to defeat him right now."

That hit me like a brick, "But he's gotten his ass handed to him more times than I've seen him win!"

"He's well trained to act. He's a spy. You did not see him take on Tsunade and your little friend, Naruto. He was a jounin before you could walk on your own."

"A jounin?!"

"Yes. A jounin. Now, since you're here…you can help. I will return shortly. You stay here and make sure he doesn't move. For as brilliant as he is, he's still stupid enough to overestimate his body's resilience." The Sannin stood and I gaped at him. He was making me stay with the bastard! "Oh and Sasuke, be nice. He has been my pet since way before you came along."

And he just left like that. What the hell?! I frowned and glared at Kabuto. "Open your eyes, you bastard. I know you're awake."

He coughed out a chuckle, "That Sharingan of yours really can see through everything." His voice was low and slurred, but he still had no problem speaking lightly.

"When were you going to mention to me that you're a **jounin**?!"

"I was going to wait for you to really piss me off, so I could brag about it after I put you in your place. But Orochimaru-sama beat me to it."

"And what's this crap about you poisoning yourself?" I frowned, ignoring his remark.

"It was an accident."

"Tch, you're the biggest pain in the ass since I met Naruto."

"Aw, I'm flattered, but I'm just a little smarter than he is, I like to think.

"…Fine, I'll give you that one and don't you even try to move. Orochimaru told me to make sure you stay put and that's what I'm going to do. You may be a jounin, but you're weak right now and I'm not above picking on those with disadvantages."

"Ah, so devious. I guess this is payback for yesterday?"

I smirked, "I suppose it is."

_To be Continued…_

_Thank you for the reviews everyone! I'm happy you''re enjoying this!_


	6. Brothers

**Shouldn't Feel Like Home**  
_Part 6 – Brothers_

I watched him hobble around for a bit. It seemed that he still hadn't gotten over the effects of whatever he'd trashed his system with. Almost funny really. Such a strong man reduced to clutching walls and holding back yelps when a particular nerve was struck. I caught him with someone and had to duck back behind a doorway to avoid laughing directly at him. He was getting help from a girl at least six years younger than he. But that still didn't stop him from working.

Orochimaru had returned to the room later after he left, when Kabuto really was asleep. He'd instructed me to follow him until it was apparent that he wasn't crippled anymore. He called it 'training under extreme conditions'. I didn't know what he meant until the first Chakra scalpel missed me by inches. Even a weakened Kabuto was moody.

"Stop trailing me already." He sighed, using the wall as his grip. "I'm fine."

"Sorry. It's a direct order." I grinned.

"Since when do you follow orders?"

"Since they included pissing you off."

"I can't get anything done with you hot on my tail all the time. And don't think I don't know when you're there…Your stealth skills suck."

I grunted, "Is that so?"

"Yes. It is so." He assured, "You have no control over your outflow of Chakra, and I can hear your heart beat."

"How the hell can you hear my heartbeat?"

"I'm a master in medical jutsu, Sasuke-kun. I can practically feel the blood pumping through your veins from where I stand."

"Then why don't' you tell me how to fix it, Mister Smarty pants."

"That sounded juvenile. But why in the hell would I help you against me? Do you think I'm that delusionally insane? I mean seriously. I'm twisted and probably mentally ill in some sick way, but I'm smart enough to know when I'm screwing myself over."

"But…Imagine how delighted Orochimaru will be that he doesn't have to waste the time teaching me!"

"Going straight for my weak spot…you are pure evil, I hope you know that."

"And to think I learned that much from only a week around the master himself." I retorted.

"You think I'm evil now? Oh child, you don't want me training you."

I cocked my head, "What the hell kinda damage could you do to me if I'm just training to avoid detection?"

"Try it. Sometime in the next hour I want to you follow me. If I know you're there, I promise...you will understand what I mean. Until then, I have things to do!" He waved and flitted out of sight in true ninja style.

"That bastard…" I said aloud to no one other than myself. "He wasn't nearly as injured as he acted." I frowned and folded my arms. He truly was more effort than he was worth.

So I waited around idly for a while. I knew it would be pointless to go in exactly one hour because he would have been expecting me, so I opted for the opposite approach. I started to search out his Chakra with my Sharingan after only about thirty minutes. Unfortunately I detected that he was very close, if not in the same room as Orochimaru. And after waiting a while it seemed like it was going to stay that way.

I used a low profile jutsu to hide myself from view and tried to mask my Chakra so there was no trace of me. I stepped soundlessly along the hallway. In the week I'd been there, I made sure to learn every weakness in the floor so I could avoid them if I needed to. Actually I remember learning them because of that damn medic. He had habits of walking soundlessly. I suppose that comes from being a _sound_ ninja.

I snuck just a few feet short of the room where he was. Test me, will he? We'll see.

"So, now you're playing cat and mouse with my protégé?" I heard Orochimaru's voice. "And here I had sent him after you because I was worried."

"You don't _worry_,Orochimaru-sama. You're still angry with me for that stunt I pulled yesterday, I'm sure." Kabuto replied and I could see him laying out his medical instruments and inspecting them.

"Perhaps, but for a good reason. You're reckless and I depend very greatly on you. "

"I know and I apologize, Orochimaru-sama. It will not happen again. I promise."

"Good. I would hate to have to rely on only Sasuke as my entertainment because you got yourself foolishly killed by your own concoctions."

"That makes me feel very loved, master. Oh and Orochimaru-sama?"

"Yes?"

"You should really spend some time honing Sasuke's stealth skills."

The Sannin sighed and I glared at Kabuto through the wall. "Yes, I'm aware he's poor at it. Amusing how he tries."

"No kidding." Silence followed and I worried a little. A thud sound and a sharp object slicing through the wall and straight through my shoulder made me drop to the floor with a gasp. I placed a hand over the gaping hole in my shoulder. Two pairs of feet appeared in front of me. I looked up, only slightly irritated.

Please…I was pissed.

"What the hell! Are you trying to kill me?!"

"If I were trying to kill you, Sasuke, you'd be dead and Orochimaru-sama would be wringing my neck. I told you that you wouldn't like it if you tried to stealth train with me. Next time, I'll lecture you."

"That's more painful than death, Sasuke." The snakelike man added and I coughed in surprise.

"Let me heal that." The silver haired medic kneeled next to me and concentrated his Chakra, like the times before. "Little brothers are so annoying."

"Yeah well older brothers are **jackasses**!"

"Takes one to know one, Sasuke-chan." He smirked at me like usual. I swear one day I will backhand that smirk off his face and on to another man's face so I can smack it off him too!

"Oh and you patronize me for maturity!"

"Children, knock it off before I ground both of you. Tomorrow, Sasuke, you're going to stealth train with me. Because I fear Kabuto will kill you too quickly and he's right. You need it. But, you will also be required to spend time with Kabuto. An hour every day at least."

I opened my mouth to protest but the medic himself beat me to it.

"What!? You can't be serious Orochimaru-sama!"

"He can learn a great deal from you and you need to get used to him. He's an important part of our village now. And before you start sputtering like a fool, you're not being replaced or punished. After all, shouldn't 'brothers' bond?" He chuckled walking his way out of the room.

"I'm going to kill you." I glared at Kabuto.

"Come and try it punk."

"And I expect no fatalities." The snake's voice echoed from the corridor.

I edited my statement, "I'm going to kick your ass."

"Come and try it punk."

"Much better. Now, play nice. Your hour starts now." He disappeared completely. Where he goes, I have no idea and I probably don't want to have an idea.

"This is all your fault." I accused.

"Oh, shut up."

_To be continued…_


	7. Crush

**Shouldn't Feel Like Home**

_Part 7 – Crush_

We were outside. By now it was the third week that I'd been there and the air was just a little more brisk than before, but it was just crisp enough to be tolerable. The Rice Country, from what I had heard, was miserable as Grass Country during the hot summers. All hearsay, but I'm willing to bet it was the truth. Nonetheless, we idled about the very edge of the base. I was reclined in one branch and Kabuto was on a branch just higher than me in the largest tree overlooking the border.

"So hypothetically speaking, if I were to kick you out of this tree what would you do?" He asked me with a snort.

"Curse your name, hope you die, and pray I don't break my leg?"

"Aw, that's the wrong answer..."

"Was I supposed to say: 'hope you die, plot my revenge and break my leg so I can get your ass stomped by Orochimaru?'"

"Yes."

"It was my second guess." I huffed. I stretched my legs straight and looked up at him. "So seriously, I know nothing about you."

"You want me to tell you stuff about me?" He looked down at me as if I had grown a second head.

"What's so wrong about that? Hey, don't get the mistaken idea that I care. I'm just bored." I backlashed with a quick excuse.

"Fine, how about this, you ask me a question and I'll ask you a question. And you have to answer or I can refuse to answer."

I thought about it and deducted that there was nothing I had to hide from him, "Fine. I'll go with that. But I get to start."

"Be my guest."

I racked my brain for a good starting question. No point in getting to complex questions early in the game. After all, I wanted to see how far I could go before he would flatly refuse to answer a question. "How old were you when you first met Orochimaru?"

"Hmmm…I think I was nine or eight. Hard to recall, but I was young. How about you, how old were you when your brother turned into a lunatic?"

"About that same age I suppose, perhaps a little younger." I looked down. Even thinking of Itachi gave me a sick feeling in my stomach. "How old are you?"

"Me? You don't know how old I am? That's amusing. I'm five."

"Seriously, you jackass!"

"I am being serious! I was born on a leap year. Actually I'm almost six. But In real years I'm a little more than twenty-two. Give or take. I don't really know."

"Twenty-two? You're almost as old as Kakashi!"

"Kakashi and I used to be friends."

"Nuh uh!"

"Yes, but I failed the genin exam and he went on to be the ultra ninja. I became a different person when my adopted father died and he gave up on me." He shrugged. "It happens."

I watched him from below for a moment. I knew what it felt like for someone to give up on you. My father did that many times when I couldn't measure up to my brother. "Kakashi didn't' know you were a spy, or a jounin did he?"

"Oh absolutely not. He's bright, but I'm the actor and I do it better than he ever did or will. Isn't it my turn to ask a question?" He smirked, pressing the nose of his glasses to his face.

"Ah, fine."

"When did you stop hating Naruto-kun?"

"Stop hating him? That's tough one… I think it was gradual. Though he still pisses me off to no end. I don't' hate him. I don't hate anyone actually. I save that emotion all for Itachi."

"Then what do you feel for me?"

"Are you hitting on me?!"

He erupted into laughter, "Oh heavens no, Sasuke. I'm twice your age! It wasn't _that_ sort of question!"

"Well if you have to know, I think of you as a likeable pest. You drive me crazy, but yet, I find myself spending more time with you than anyone else."

"Brilliant people flock together."

"That's arrogant and flattering at the same time." I snorted, "So is there a question you won't answer?"

"Cutting to the chase, neh?"

"Thought I might as well." I yawned, watching the sunlight grow dimmer in the sky. "You don't really hold back much, do you?"

"Not unless I need to."

"Okay, have you ever had a crush on someone?"

"A 'crush'? What are we twelve year olds now? …Oh wait…you are!" He chuckled and only chuckled harder at the glare I sent him. "But, if I have to answer…" He trailed, dropping back on the branch and hanging upside down by use of Chakra. "Naturally, yes, I have."

"Oh? Who?"

"I'm not telling you that."

"Ha! So there is something you won't answer!"

"Damn right I won't. Last thing I need is you having blackmail material on me. Orochimaru-sama would never let me live it down if you some how found out and told him!"

"Oh come on…It can't be so bad that Orochimaru would tease you."

"If I tell you…you tell no one."

"You have my word. Ninja honor. Brother's bond!"

He eyed me suspiciously, "You hate your real brother with a passion."

"Okay, pseudo-brother bond!"

He sighed and leaned close to my left ear and whispered a few words to me. My eyes widened and I lost my balance and fell those twenty feet to the ground. "Holy shit!" I gasped. "I cannot believe that!"

"You know what! To hell with you! Last secret I ever tell you!" He called and even from the ground I could see his face changing colors.

"What if I told you mine?" I offered and he perked to attention.

"I'm listening…"

To be continued… 


	8. Souvenirs

**Shouldn't Feel like Home  
**_Part 8 - Souvenirs_

I probably shouldn't have offered any information to him. He's the type to really use it against me. But I was saved another day or embarrassment when Orochimaru stepped in and questioned why it looked like I was trying to coax Kabuto out of the tree like he was a stuck cat. More like a stubborn bitch, if you ask me. I was forced into an impromptu training session and Kabuto was off on a short mission to a nearby village.

He was gone for three days and there wasn't much to do other than train and sleep. On the second day I sat under that tree again. I was bored out of my mind. Sound really was a busy place. Too busy to do anything other than work. Training always took a backseat when there was something urgent in the working of the village. Amazingly enough, Orochimaru was a great leader and kept things in order, but even I could see the strain that everyone was under when the second in command was absent.

I felt a presence behind me and I paid it no mind until it was close enough to me that I could put my arm back and touch it.

"It's boring here, when he's not around." I said idly.

"I knew there was a reason to force you to coexist." The snake replied in that haughty all knowing tone. "It'll keep you from bitching at me all the time."

I scoffed, "When's he coming back?"

"Supposedly in two days…but you can expect him tomorrow, possibly earlier. He doesn't like to stop or take his time."

"Like you, neh?"

"Oh very much. He's a smart boy. Making you a friend rather than an enemy is just another example of that."

"Tch, his expressions are all fake. It's hard to tell if he's trying to befriend me or double cross me."

"He'll leave you guessing, Sasuke-kun. But if your life is ever in danger, you'll know whether he's your friend or not." The Sannin chuckled in that dark and chilling way that he does. "No formal training today. Practice on your stealth jutsus. I will be busy."

"Fine." I sighed. Great more nothing to do all day long. I sighed and leaned back against the old tree. As I mentioned, there was really nothing to do other than sleep. I didn't' feel like working on my jutsus. For a very brief instant in a dream I felt like I was back in Konoha, but that feeling vanished when a dark shadow hovered over me and blocked the setting sun's light. I cracked open an eye.

The shadow grinned at me and pushed up his glasses against his face like he always does. "I heard from a very reliable source that you, Sasuke-kun, missed me!"

I scowled. That smirk. "I changed my mind…just now." I snorted. I sat straight. "Wait…the sun's setting…Holy crap, I've been sleeping all day!" I blinked.

He laughed, "It must be nice." He pulled something from the bag at his side. I stiffened in case it was a threat, but I should have known better. If he were threatening me, I would be face first to the ground… He threw something at me and I caught it on a reflex.

"What the hell?" I opened my ball up fist to see a silver chain and what looked like a charm with a calligraphy symbol and the mark for Sound underneath it. I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, stop looking at me like that. Some chick in Falls was making charms and harassed me into buying a few. I must be a walking target or something, because I always get stuck with souvenirs from what ever backwards ass village I get thrown at."

"From Falls?" I asked again. I'd never heard of a village by that name, but then I had been quite sheltered in Konoha. "Then why does it have a Sound mark on it?"

"Because she saw my headband and engraved it. I only stopped for water, but her and her little brother sweet-talked me. I'm such a sucker."

I held the charm up and watched it glint in the light. "At least you're honest with yourself. So how many souvenirs do you have from different places?"

"I have a whole box of junk. I'll pull it out and you can look through it later if you want. God knows I don't need it."

"Does Orochimaru know your penchant for collecting crap?"

"Oh he will."

I raised an eyebrow, "What's that mean?"

"He's got a light blue cat plush sitting in the middle of his desk with a collar that says 'love me' on it. If I wasn't afraid of getting killed, I'd love to see the expression on his face."

"KABUTOOOO." A loud bellow echoed in the air.

"As far as you know…I'm dead in a ditch somewhere. Kay?" He coughed and I nodded just before he vanished from sight.

I snorted and turned to walk back into the base and see the look on Orochimaru's face that he wouldn't get to see. 'Looks like he's going to arrive tomorrow after all.'

_To be continued…_


	9. Virus

**Shouldn't Feel Like Home**  
_Part 9_

There was never anyway to predict the medic. I knew that. It never stopped me from trying. I guess I was feeling a very dim sort of rivalry with him that grew deeper over time. Being out smarted by him and being tricked often had quickly increased my irritation.

"For the last time, Sasuke. Pay attention or we will end this here and you will find yourself on a quick trip to Kabuto's medical bay."

I scowled. Him again. If Orochimaru wasn't with Kabuto, he was speaking of him. Pressing my luck I pressed on daringly. "You and Kabuto are like one giant virus, aren't you? Tricking the enemy by appearing separate."

"Interesting analogy. Continue on, I would like to hear more."

"What if I don't have more to tell?"

"You do." Orochimaru smirked at me, leaning against a giant stump of a tree that had been there before he threw a giant fit and leveled half of the surrounding forestry.

"Very well. When was the last time you two went a day without some sort of contact?"

"Hmm…I cannot recall. But, dear Sasuke, what does this concern you for? I wouldn't have pictured you the type to care about such a trivial thing. He is my direct subordinate, after all."

"Yeah….but there's hardly serious business going on every single day. Not to mention, it gets in the way of my training when you yank him away."

"Oh?" An elegant brow lifted in amusement. "I was under the impression that I was training you."

I huffed internally. I had not intended to word it like that. But it came out that way. "Yes, well, I see him more than you."

"My two protégées. Getting along so nicely. That would warm my heart if I still had one."

"So…he's your protégé?"

"You think he taught himself the complicated Jutsu he uses to play with your mind?"

"I hardly think you taught him how to turn into a naked girl and freak me out of the bathroom. That's the kind of thing Naruto does."

In speaking of the subject, the very man being spoken of appeared. Orochimaru didn't seem in the least but disturbed by it. I didn't expect him to. There was virtually nothing Kabuto could do wrong, short of killing me, that would enrage him.

"I'm sorry I'm late~" He said with a fake grin of innocence plastered on his face.

It took a long, painful moment to realize, as the wind brushed around us, that Kabuto was all too happily sporting a pleasant flirty number. A violet skirt swished about and I immediately grabbed my face in both hands.

"GOD WHY. I CANNOT UNSEE THIS." I cried, scowling at the amused commentary in the background.

"Excellent execution, Kabuto."

"Why thank you Master~. I don't think Sasuke appreciates the gesture. I think I look splendid."

I swore I would get him back for that. I would make them regret making me the victim of their taunting. I would have my vengeance.

* * *

_A/N: This is what I come back to this little fic with. Yes. I know, wtf. But I laughed when I mentally thought of Sasuke screaming: "GOD WHY." I missed the little things about this series that made it fun to kinda twist. The characters are very dynamic. I'm considering doing an actual real story with them. But I probably should finish what I start first. Anyway, Enjoy~_


	10. Black Eye

**Shouldn't Feel Like Home**_  
Part 10 – Black Eye_

"Sasuke…" He started with a sigh, inspecting the dark blotch overtaking the right side of my face.

"Shut up, I don't wanna hear it." I grumbled, wincing as he poked and prodded at it, like he was happy just to see how much he could aggravate it before I started barking at him for it.

"You really should learn not to flap off your jaws to Orochimaru-sama. He takes no guilt by beating the snot out of you. Since he knows he can just ship you to me and-"

"Okay mom. I promise I won't piss off dad anymore if you please just stop poking my goddamn face." I leered at him, baring my nonthreatening fangs, promising him I would bite next poke.

He looked at me with that bored and completely unfazed expression that I swear I will grind into something solid and made of concrete.

"I have to see the extent of the damage, Sasuke. And please remember, _son_, I'm really really close to your eye. I would hate to miss and poke out your precious crutch." He smiled at me and I raised up my hands and pretended that I was choking him to make myself feel better. I was in a terrible mood. And he was not helping.

"Do you ever get in a bad mood, Kabuto? Because you seem to not be able to catch the fact that I am?"

He smile. Again. "I've never been allowed to be in a bad mood. So forgive me if I'm amused by your emotional turmoil and wish to exploit it for my own selfish need to see you squirm and boil while knowing you can't do anything to harm me."

I saw nothing but red as I jumped off my seat and lunged at him. He had it coming. He did.

And he knew it.

So there we stood, twenty minutes following me vicious attack, before Orochimaru. He had no more interest in this than an irritated parent trying to put his children in separate corners.

"I didn't start this Orochimaru-sama." Kabuto stated factually.

"He had it coming." I grumbled, sending a glare from a sideways glance. "Enjoy your black eye, Kabuto."

There was a grunt and I turned my head back, when suddenly my world got dark again. It felt like I had my head dunked in black ink and when I was finally able to wipe my eyes of it I blinked. "Eeeh…Wha?"

"Enjoy your two black eyes, Sasuke-chan~." Kabuto's false sweet voice crooned as he poked the other eye. "Orochimaru-sama has a stronger left hook than a right when he's not willing to put up with bullshit."

I looked up at the ceiling. "God, I hate you two." I groaned and he merely laughed.

**To be Continued….**


	11. Miss

_**o** Dedicated to **Dancing Feather** for the awesome review left on this story. It's nice to hear why someone likes a story everyonce in a while. _

**Shouldn't Feel Like Home**_  
Part 11 - Miss  
_

I stood out by the closest lake to the base. The sun was setting over the edge of it. For the first time in a long time, I felt kinda melancholy. Parts of me struggled to admit that I missed my old team. Kakashi, Sakura…even Naruto. But at the same time, I looked back to see my new familiar. Guilt washed over me.

"Sasuke, what's with the depressing aura?" The silver haired medic I had come to be acquainted with over the previous six months gave me a questioning look.

"You wouldn't get it."

"You've said that about every conversation we've gotten into. According to you: I didn't understand needing to be strong, I didn't understand feeling inferior, I didn't understand missing home, I didn't understand growing up and growing a pair…"

"Okay, Kabuto….Geeze, you talk too fucking much." I sighed.

"Testy testy~." He taunted me again. Over all that time I had thought I would grow immune to it, and partially I was, but he had new nerves to strike every day. I might have believed him to be the most powerful being in existence if his ability to play mind games was transferred into pure chakra. "You miss that village don't you?" His voice echoed over the empty clearing.

I closed my eyes and sat on smooth rock, jutting from the edge of the lake bed. "A little bit. Here and there."

"Looks like confusion more than anything." He stated, walking up next to me, picking up a stone.

"Oh? Explain?"

He held the polished rock up and looked at it. "You miss the Leaf Village, and the people there, but it's not like you really hate it here. No, we're not the most entertainment driven society out there, but we keep busy enough. Orochimaru-sama trains you better than anyone in Konoha would have too."

"Eventually I will surpass Orochimaru…"

"Than will you go back to Konoha?" The glare of his glasses partially hid his eyes from my view. But that didn't matter. It never did. I learned long ago that he couldn't be read by expressions. Reading him was a lot more complicated.

"No. Probably not. I have a brother to kill…and another reason." I passed off the same nonchalance he's used to targeting me with. I smiled as he asked my other reason. He had finally given me the set up I needed to finally surprise him for the change.

"If I left you alone, you'd probably mutate a second head before poisoning yourself to death. Someone has to be risk management." I looked at him with a smirk.

He blinked at me, his actual reaction breaking through his mask for a brief moment. It may not have been the teasing, bickering, humiliatingly devastating defeat he handed me frequently; but it was more than enough for me.

**To Be Continued…**


	12. Sympathy

**Shouldn't Feel Like Home**_  
Part 12 - Sympathy_

Stepping out of my hole of a room, I knew something felt off. It was just the atmosphere of the place to radiate a sort of feeling. This feeling was dark, silent. There was nothing but silence. I tried to ignore it, but as I casually passed a very displeased looking Orochimaru, I knew something was wrong.

He didn't even pause in his motion. He didn't appear to even notice me pass him. I was content with that at the moment, as my curiosity gathered more attention than a training session that was likely to not amount to much. My feet led me to the place I'd gone to often, for one reason or another. But this was the origin of that dark feeling I had picked up on. Kabuto's lab.

I handled the door knob and opened the metal slab, stepping into what was essentially Kabuto's bedroom.

There was blood.

Everywhere.

I looked around, wondering what poor bastard had invoked this horrible wrath, but it had become quickly clear to me that I had been wrong. The red streaks that blotched the tables and floor led up to a certain man who proved to be a bane in my existence when he wanted to be. Apparently, Kabuto was not completely immune to the snake man's wrath.

"Oh my god…" I whispered before I could stop the words from spilling out of my mouth. "Kabuto? Are you….?"

A groan emitted from the form, hunched up against a table leg. "You….were late…for the blood drive." He chuckled with great effort.

"How can you make jokes like _this_?" I asked, looking at him as I crouched down to be at his level.

The delirious medic chuckled harder. "He at least stopped hitting me when there was more blood outside my body than inside."

"That isn't a good thing, you dumbass." I reached up for a towel to mop up some of the blood choking up his face. "Why did he do this to you? I thought you were his favorite?"

"Orochimaru has terrible moods. Even I can face the brunt of it in certain circumstances…"

"Why aren't you healing?"

"Well, if you pop a balloon and it automatically reforms what do you do to it?"

"Pop it again?"

"You bitch and whine, do your crazy rage thing and set it on fire with your mouth. That's what he did to me, so I stopped healing."

I looked at him sternly. "Bullshit." He blinked. "I don't see the first burn mark on you."

"Shut up, smartass and help me up."

I took his hand and helped him to his feet, only pulling my weight when he braced himself on the table. I watched him trying to focus his balance, his glasses shattered and throwing his world off. I felt an unexplainable anger than I can only remember feeling in the rare occasion when I had put myself in between someone delivering Naruto into death's embrace. I looked at him, bothered by his apparent permanent place being Orochimaru's pet. A little shred of me felt sympathy for him.

"Don't worry about me; I told him that you were the one who set the kitchen on fire after all."

….

"Never mind, I don't feel sorry for you anymore you, prick."

**To Be Continued…**


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